The Trails of a Troubled Mind~ [PRIVATE - Mero and Utena only.]

by **Prince Utena Tenjou** Sun Oct 16, 2011 4:42 am

First topic message reminder :

OOC: I set up the topic, so no worries you don't have to do it. You can choose whether I play your Shadow or you do, it's fine if you want to play or if you want me to play, I don't have no problem with either. ^^ Also did I mention, you remind me a lot of Chie from Persona 4. If you've ever heard of or played the game before you'll know who I'm talking about. I partially got this idea from there anyway. Though I adapted it to its own setting with my mind. But, yeah have fun, sorry for the length of this message.

Often times, the evidence of a troubled mind is in the inability to function properly throughout everyday life. The individuals suffering would slowly atrophy because their own souls are battling them and winning. They are defeating their minds, overpowering them quite easily and snapping them as if they were twigs. Well, you must have the strength to face others in life; Quintessentially, everyone must learn this lesson. But, what some do not know is that there is a time when one will have to face oneself and that takes even more courage....

Everyone has things they hide. Everyone has hidden thoughts and feelings. Everyone has secrets. Part of what makes life and our interaction with one another as human beings so interesting is the urge, the yearning, the want, the need to know what the other is thinking. What the other is feeling; and more importantly, what the other is hiding. We as human beings always yearn for the truth, be it hidden or not, we always wish to know something, a secret, a knowledge, a thing that is not something personal to us. We love to know gossip for whenever a conversation flares out. But, mostly, it is the suppression of the being with a secret that keeps us from ever being COMPLETELY honest with each other. What if that were to change?

"Hey Mero, mind if I ask why we're training here anyway? I mean I thought the other place was good enough but you suggested we come here, any particular reason?"

It looked to be a completely empty field with tall grass swaying in the gentle winds that blew by. It was quite calm and relaxing. No life, nothing was in the area; and it seemed there never would be anything here. It was like this were a place, a secret place, on Earth that no one knew about, but, then again, things on Earth were not like this. We had gone through the portal once more to this alternate dimension, one that seemed to have a peaceful setting.

by **Mero** Sun Nov 06, 2011 2:47 pm

I laughed a little then smiled, "I guess it was pretty damn awesome". I looked around afterwards, "So where do we head from here?"

by **Prince Utena Tenjou** Sun Nov 06, 2011 2:55 pm

"Actually, my father and his head advisor must be worried sick about me. I've been traveling a whole lot, haven't I? Well, why don't we go back to my kingdom. You can meet them!"

I exclaimed happily. I began to walk with her in the direction of my kingdom, leading the way. But, there was something funny in the air...

by **Mero** Mon Nov 07, 2011 4:01 pm

"That sounds like fun!" I walked beside Utena towards her kingdom. I was a little nervous because I have never really been around royalty- aside from Utena.

by **Prince Utena Tenjou** Mon Nov 07, 2011 10:27 pm

Suddenly a small pang twinge within me. It felt strange. Then I looked over to Mero whose expression did seem a bit more nervous than usual. I smiled softly at her and spoke up so she could look at me when I was speaking, making it apparent I was speaking to her.

"It's okay Mero, don't be nervous. You're with me, and well, the head advisor is really nice. One time he took me on a tour of the whole castle and when we got to the kitchen he wouldn't leave until the cooks were done preparing cookies for us. He's a really cool guy."

I cleared my throat and continued to walk.

"And my father, well, he can be pretty harsh at times but all you'll have to do is be kind to him. If you're my friend, automatically, he likes you, he welcomes you with open arms. And if you show you're a worthy person, which I totally think you are, there's no reason to be nervous around him."

I smiled and we were almost there. It wasn't too far of a walk. But, as I continued to approach the kingdom which I called home, something in the air didn't feel right and the uneasiness continued to grow within me.

by **Mero** Mon Nov 07, 2011 11:11 pm

"Alright", I smiled and nodded. I just had to play it cool and make sure none of my Mero-isms came through. I wouldn't want to accidentally insult his majesty in anyway. "How long until we get there?" I asked her.

by **Prince Utena Tenjou** Tue Nov 08, 2011 10:39 pm

"Not very long. It shouldn't be any more than I'd say about, 10 minutes now."

I smiled and continued to walk with her.

by **Mero** Tue Nov 08, 2011 11:50 pm

"Shaweet!" I smiled and walked on.

by **Prince Utena Tenjou** Thu Nov 10, 2011 1:04 am

Within the prescribed ten minutes, we arrived at the kingdom to which I called my home. The kingdom I was always venturing out of to do errands for my father or train. The life of a prince was never easy, but, it was something I could handle and something I've always wanted.

When we entered there were lush gardens of green with roses everywhere. The shrubbery and the greenery around here were famous for beauties. The place seemed to be encrusted with sunshine itself, almost as if it were built on the sun and its energy and bright way of living. Butterflies flew peacefully through the air, aflutter, some with mates and some alone, gracing the eyes of the young trying to catch them. The bees were busily gathering nectar and overall, this seemed the ideal place to live. But, this was only because my father worked so tirelessly to keep it that way; of course, within reason. After all, every kingdom, however perfect it may seem has its faults.

"So, how does it look Mero? You know, before this place didn't look as bright and joyous as it does now? It used to be sad and dreary and then I brought up the idea of renewal and my father agreed."

"Oh hello Prince, you're back!" A girl with turquoise eyes and brown hair exclaimed as she smiled immensely and jumped into my arms. I swung her around a few times before setting her down on her feet again. She did seem a bit younger than I, but, also like someone I knew. Any of these assumptions would be correct.

"Yes Serenity, I'm back. Probably to stay this time unless the king sends me out somewhere again. So what have you been up to while I was gone?"

"Oh nothing much really! Just training and more training. Gosh! I can't wait to be like you Prince Utena, you're so cool and awesome with the way you handle a sword and graceful in your style of fighting. It makes me wish that I could grow up faster so I could be just like you!" The young girl, about 10 or so, pouted as her wooden sword in her hands, lowered to hit the ground. I lowered to her level and looked her straight in the eyes and with a smile, said...

"Don't worry. You'll learn all of my little tricks and moves and everything, I promise. I'll teach them to you anytime and when you grow up and become older, like me, you'll be a find young swordsman, heck, you may even be the kingdom's watch because of your skill and at that point, I may be king and I will be nothing but proud of you."

"If you say so, Prince Utena. Who's she?"

"An old friend of mine that I ran into in the other village. She decided to journey back home with me."

"Oh okay. Well, I'll see you later then Prince Utena! I has to talk to you about something later anyway! Okay well bye Prince Utena and bye Prince Utena's friend!" Serenity waved as she ran off to play pretend with her other friends. Meanwhile, it was a bit longer before we would reach the actual center of this kingdom, the palace. Thus, we continued.

by **Mero** Thu Nov 10, 2011 5:38 pm

I was overwhelmed with how beautiful the gardens were. The entire grounds were beautiful. "Lovely" I said aloud. After we walked some more we ran into a small girl. She was talking to Utena and I couldn't help but smile. She aspired to be like Utena and for someone so young to have a big dream like that it was wonderful. I waved as she ran off to play with her friends. "Cute kid", I smiled and continued after her.

by **Prince Utena Tenjou** Thu Nov 10, 2011 10:18 pm

"I think so too. But, I can see from that little gleam in her eyes that she aspires to not only be like me, but, like the many great fighters there are out there. And anyway, virtually, it's impossible to be like me. She is human and doesn't possess the same powers I do, only the sword skills I use. And for that, I'd much rather compare her to you, Mero. You're a great fighter too and it shows."

I smiled and continued to walk. Within a matter of minutes we were standing before the palace, the main building of this kingdom. It was called, 'Palace of the Heart's Will'. It was build a long, long time ago and throughout the ages of destruction that befell this very area, it still stood tall; In some years it was refurbished and in others it was left to wilt, but, it stood strong, perhaps the very symbol of resilience and strength itself. As we approached the immense doors that towered over any normal person a few feet. I smiled and looked back at Mero.

"This is it."

The outside of the palace was built of a special type of stone, brimstone. It was something that gave the palace a more smokey and regal effect as if it were built in the medieval times. It was decorated with a red folding placed over one of its openings in the wall, embroidered with a symbol that was the well known marking of the kingdom. I opened the doors. They made a clicking sound as they unlocked and allowed us in, it was light with the chandelier above our heads shining down on the floors, which, appeared they had just been cleaned, ergo they're shine. The floors were checkered and a single red carpet that led straight to the king's throne was rolled out to the doorway. But, as we walked inside the palace deeper, I noticed that Damascus, whom normally greeted me at the door, was not present. But, he was my father's personal advisor, where would he be? What was even more curious was that my father was not placed where he usually sat, on the throne. I was beginning to wonder, where was he? Where was everyone? I decided to check.

"Hello? I'm back from my journeys! Is anyone here?"

No reply. I tried again, my voice echoing through the spacious, main throne room.

"Hello? Father, Damascus, are you here?"

Again, no reply. It wasn't till the second time I called out that I felt an eerie chill run down my back. Something was definitely not right....

by **Mero** Fri Nov 11, 2011 8:28 pm

"Is no one home?" I asked her. Surely everyone would gather to see their prince, this was odd.

by **Prince Utena Tenjou** Sat Nov 12, 2011 12:45 am

"It doesn't appear that anyone's home. I do agree, this is odd."

Suddenly the air became a bit thicker and almost sort of harder to breathe in. Everything seemed so much different from what the normal atmosphere was. I turned to Mero, my eyes being a bit darker blue than normal stained with concern.

"Mero, do you sense something different about this place? Like there's just something that's off in the air or something?"

My eyes scanned the area suspiciously. It was certainly strange that no one was home and the atmosphere was feeling a bit more.... ominous than normal.

by **Mero** Sun Nov 13, 2011 7:20 pm

"It does seem that way, yes". I looked around, not sure where this unsettling feeling was coming from.

by **Prince Utena Tenjou** Sun Nov 13, 2011 7:32 pm

"Why welcome home, prince."

A voice called out from what seemed like nowhere, although one would immediately think it echoed from the dark hallway that appeared just to my left. My eyes focused soundly on that one location expecting to see something or rather, someone come out of it. The voice sounded womanly, was it one of the maids, was it, perhaps, the queen. (Over the course of time before the king adopted me, he had gotten married to a beautiful wife made queen that I never took a liking to until recently when she stated she'd be like a mother to me.) My face brightened up at the thought it could be here.

"Mother? Is that you?"

There was no response for about 5 minutes. Then, there was a response but, it sounded like the sound shifted from the left hallway to the one over to the right of Mero and I. It was dark as the left one was. My eyes focused on it too, ready for anything to appear.

"Mother? Is that you? Please give me a break, kid, do I sound like a mother to you? Much less, YOU'RE mother?"

Out of the darkness appeared a person whom appeared to look just like me. She wore the same clothes I did, she had the same color eyes and face structure, everything was the same except for the hair. Her hair was long and pink and silky whereas mine was cut short. She leaned against the wall at first and then began to walk towards us, my eyes widened in surprise.

"W-who are you?"

"Gee, I really don't know who I am. That's why I've ventured this far and wide just to come here, to find out who I really am. Or who I'm really not... in this case."

"I don't understand what you're saying! I ask again, who are you?! A-answer me!"

"Why don't you give me an answer as to who you are, hm? Then I would be happy, no, delighted to tell you who I am as well."

"You want my name, intruder? Fine. I shall give it to you. My name is Prince Utena Tenjou. I am the prince of this here kingdom and you are intruding this palace, which, is not yours. You may look like me, but, there is no reason you should be here."

"Very well. I shall tell you who I am as well. You see, I'm... you."

I didn't understand this conversation much less this other person who looked like me. She seemed to be speaking with a demonic undertone to her normal voice, sounding just like mine. What was going on here?!

by **Mero** Sat Nov 19, 2011 8:58 pm

My eyes widened as the voice of a woman sounded off in the distance. She now stood out in front of us, her appearance that of Utena's. She must be Utena's shadow her. But that would mean she's suppressing thoughts. I shifted my eyes to Utena, who seemed confused. "Utena, it'll be okay" I reassured her. If I could beat my shadow I knew she could beat hers. Although I wasn't sure if she even knew it was her shadow yet.

OOC: Im gonna bring in the king and his right hand man in the next post. Srry if that jumbles your plan. v.v

by **Prince Utena Tenjou** Sun Nov 20, 2011 1:11 am

OOC: It doesn't, don't worry. ^^

The sound of Mero's voice was a bit comforting, but, the confusion and a small bit of fear took over my body. Why was I afraid in the face of an enemy like me? I'm sure I could beat her. I had crazy powers and swordsmanship skills, so, why was I afraid?

"That can't be. There's only one me and it's me."

"Do you hear yourself when you talk? There's only one me and it's me! Pfft, that made a lot of sense, didn't it?" She was mocking me and in the exact tone my voice sounded too. This was so strange. Who the hell was she?

"Then you want something?"

"Oh please Utena, stop trying to act so brave and princely in the sight of danger. Don't you know that your impending death is upon you this hour? It's inevitable as the night's sky is black and the stars shine however dimly or brightly they may. Your candle of life is about to be blown out and never return again. No reincarnation shit or anything like that, no one can save you now." She paused and continued, my heart rate increasing and my eyes widening, my hands a bit clammy and my fingers spread apart. I was trying to be brave, but, I was afraid. "I can tell you're afraid. You're afraid of life because you're scared something could mess it up for you. The secret you keep buried and locked within the confines of your mind just to please others and yourself, to live happily. I say it's stupid, live in reality. Reality teaches you how cruel life can be and only then will you get to know the true magnitude of what pain feels like. You're afraid of death. You have yet to live a full life, you don't want to die though you take these excursions and look death straight in the face, unafraid. And why? You have all the power in the world, don't you? So, why do you continue to pick fights and plan things out when you have it all? Oh... I know why... it all comes back to that little secret of yours, doesn't it? And here's something else, you're afraid of me...."

"What are you talking about? I'd never be afraid of you. I'm not afraid of death and I'm not afraid of life either. I'm living it knowing that death is down the road for me in my later years right? How could I be afraid of it knowing it's going to happen sometime soon? And, of all things, of all people, why would I fear you?"

"Because I am your death and there's nothing you can do to escape it. Face it Utena, you're just a coward. You're afraid of everything in small quantities and some in immense quantities. This secret you have will be the thing that brings upon your death because by it, I swear to kill you and I don't break promises. Mark my words little orphan Utena, when I'm through with you the only thing you will feel is fear." She paused again and continued, me, fearful as ever. "It's cute you're afraid, really. I mean... who would have ever thought, the prince of all princes would be-"

"SHUT UP!"

I screamed, holding my head and falling to my knees. This was all too dramatic for me. Who was she? Where did she come from ? How did she get here and why was she doing this to me? All of this didn't make sense. It was so... anxiety-inducing. I was trembling and she smirked. What would happen next?

by **Mero** Wed Nov 23, 2011 4:07 pm

I watched the scene unfold in front of me. I walked briskly over to Utena when she fell to her knees. "Are you all right Utena?" I asked her, concerned. I hadn't noticed that the entire time two people had been standing behind us, also watching the dramatic scene.

"U-Utena?"A strong male voice questioned from behind. "Is it really you my son?"The man approached and knelt beside her. I had gotten up and backed away from them, assuming this was her king- her father.
The other man who had been standing back smiled slightly but remained quiet.

by **Prince Utena Tenjou** Wed Nov 23, 2011 6:11 pm

"Father?"

The male voice called out to me and I got up off of my knees and turned around to face him. Even so, I could not be weak in his presence, it just... wouldn't fit. I was surprised to see him and Damascus too, standing beside him as usual.

"Yes it's me. But, is it you? It's been so long since we've last seen each other no?"

The shadow just smirked and stood there with a menacing grin upon her face. I could tell she meant to do something, she had something planned, that's why she was here, but, what? What did she have planned? It didn't make sense at all and I wasn't trying to figure it out right now.

"Aw, isn't that sweet? A family reunion. Well, I should call it a technical family reunion, you have no family, right Utena? So you relay and rely upon this king to be your father, the father you never really had, never really knew. It's sad really. But, nice to meet you sir."

She smiled and saluted the king, all in an evil and ill-intentioned manner. My eyes widened at the thought of her actually speaking with my father. It seemed she knew my every thought, my every secret, my every pain. Who and what was she?

by **Mero** Thu Nov 24, 2011 9:13 pm

The king looked at his son and then to this intruder. She looked like the female version of Utena. "Although he is not my flesh and blood he is still and will always be my son".

Damascus took a few steps forward placing himself between his king, Utena and the stranger. He had felt a presence of evil and would be ready if she unleashed an attack.

I stood in the background watching, waiting for what would come.

by **Prince Utena Tenjou** Thu Nov 24, 2011 9:26 pm

"Interesting choice of words sir. So, in essence, does that make me your son as well?"

The eyes of my counterpart began to glow a bright yellowish orange and stare directly at the king, also, keeping her peripheral vision on Damascus. I was cringing. Why was this person so scary? She looked like me, talked like me, acted like me in a sense, but, she was more evil than I would ever be and she was now seeking to do something, but what? Destroy the castle?

"Go on Utena, why not tell him the truth huh? The truth behind everything you say. After all, the truth shall set you free. Sorry sir, king sir, father... sir, you must be wondering who I am yes? Why... I am your son, I am Utena Tenjou, your adopted son. I've come to realize that I am as much your son as he is, after all, we are one in the same."

The counterpart smirked and folded her arms as my blue eyes continued to scan around the area, around her form, how could she be me? She wasn't me, was she? I blinked in confusion and continued to watch this scene play out. It was a scene of heavy gravity and great depth, intensity. I wondered how my father would respond...

by **Mero** Thu Nov 24, 2011 9:38 pm

"My son? Your a girl aren't you not?" I king stood tall and looked over the girl. This is when Damascus took his chance to speak up. "My king, might she be Utena's twin sister?" The king thought a moment and nodded. "Utena you never told me you had a twin."

by **Prince Utena Tenjou** Thu Nov 24, 2011 9:56 pm

"I don't-"

I answered immediately, making eye contact with the, now, baffled king. Damascus was trying to make sense and light of the situation as he always did. He was always thinking, my father was always protecting. But, who was this counterpart of mine and where did she come from?

"Hahahaha, that I am. I'm a girl, a woman, not a boy. And yet, I aspire to be a prince. Is that possible?"

She took a pause and I clenched my fists, them shaking with anxiety. She continued.

"Oh and why don't you speak of the affections you've had for different girls of this kingdom and the next? Why don't you speak of the countless journeys you've been on to satiate your traveling desire...hm? Why don't you speak the truth and release it all instead of lying and hiding in a shell hm, Utena?"

"I don't understand what you mean! Tell me what it is you're trying to-"

"Say? You know perfectly well what I'm trying to say, what I'm trying to expose rather. Come, tell me, what is it? What is it that's burning inside of you? This secret? This secret you're dying to release... Come on, if you're so brave, release it prince, if that's what you really are! Say it! Release it! Speak it! Embrace it! After all I'm-"

"You're not me!"

There was a moment of stillness in the air that led to her devilishly smirking and standing with her head down, her hair falling over her profile a bit. Then, she erupted in a fit of maniacal and evil, insane laughter, her hands holding her stomach where her diaphragm was that was giving her all the power and projection in her bellows she needed. A dark blue-black aura formed around her as she laughed. There was a crazy increase in power and I was beginning to wonder: What's going on here? What was she... what IS she?

"YES YES YES! You don't know how much I've died to hear those words be spoken to me and you said them! Haha! You said them, now prepare to be vanquished by the truths that you hide away from the world. The truths and the thoughts that you cannot admit to your pathetic self. Prepare to fall by my sword Utena Tenjou, Prince of Lost Memories!"

For now she remained in this form, using a sword that was similar to mine but I didn't get a look at it till the time we actually collided in battle. I awaited her attack with my sword ready in my hands. Oh Sword of Dios, help me!

by **Mero** Thu Nov 24, 2011 10:06 pm

Damascus drew his weapon and turned his head to look at the king, "My lord shall I take this battle?" The king looked to his son and shook his head, "Utena is s stronger fighter, he can beat this girl". The king stood back watching his son proudly. He hadn't quiet understood what the girl had said but it didn't matter now. Damascus however looked a little concerned. There was something different about this situation but he dare not challenge his king.

"Utena, you know what this is.Please accept her" I spoke up finally earning the attention of his majesty and Damascus. Though both returned to Utena without giving me a word, There were more important things at hand then introductions.

by **Prince Utena Tenjou** Thu Nov 24, 2011 10:29 pm

Usually, I was good at controlling my emotions but, this girl made me want to go off in a tangent, a cold-blodded tangent of murder and crime, something that just wasn't me or expected of a prince to commit. My rage was blocking all sound out, everything out of my mind except for one objective: To kill this counterpart of mine with everything I had. That was what I had to do, what I must do. I don't understand who she is or who she thinks she is, having the audacity to do such things like this in my home, but, I would make certain that she will not do it anymore!

"I think you should repeat those same words back to yourself! You're the one who will fall by the wrath of my sword, girly!"

"Let's just see about that PRINCE! Let's see what you can do! SHOW ME! SHOW ME! SHOW ME the powers you possess!"

Her eyes went wider and she held her hands out in front of her as if harnessing power from everything around her. The dark aura seemed to grow further as she, then, materialized a sword in her hands. It was there before, the image of it, but, now, it was a solid thing she could hold and wield. Wield to successfully complete her intention: Kill me. I didn't know what was to come of this match, but, I am certain it wouldn't be easy. I was still somewhat afraid but all of that didn't matter, what mattered is.... FOCUS UTENA!

"Ready? I can sense you're still afraid..."

"Afraid that I might kill you? Yes, otherwise, no!"

She had dashed at me, our swords clanking upon their first meeting. And the battle had begun. Her powers, even with the boost still did not surpass my own, then this should be pretty okay for me right? I could only hope. I looked at the sword. It looked just like my own, only, it glowed with a dark blue-black aura and had the same design to it my sword had. The Sword of Dios was my sword's name, I wondered what the name of her sword was. Mine glowed white immediately upon entering battle and I could see from her erratic sword movements and dances that this sword, too, had a mind of its own and it was not so easy to submit to someone.

'Alright, remain calm, I can do this... I can do this!'

"Giving yourself a little inside pep talk, are you? Don't bother it won't help you!"

She continually moved and her speed, I noticed, was beginning to increase greatly. So, she was tapping into her training and magical abilities, the same I had. What was worse is that she was using them better than I ever had or ever could, what made her so damn strategic? No matter, I'd analyze and find a way to take her down as well. I had to, otherwise, it might be the death of me....

by **Mero** Thu Nov 24, 2011 10:36 pm

The king stirred slightly. Although he knew his boy was strong, something worried him. He tried his hardest not to interfere, for his child was always his soft spot. Damascus had noted the kings demeanour and put a hand on his shoulder silently reassuring him. This was the only man alive who could ever perform such a bold action.

We all watched as the battle continued.

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